I have a love/hate relationship with coffee. I love it and it hates me. Gives me a straight up tummy ache (why yes, I am a mom – how did you guess? did “tummy” give it away?). I think it smells amazing. I think it tastes great. But I hardly ever drink it.

You know when I say “coffee” I mean a fru-fru flavored latte, right?

So I usually drink a chai latte. Chai and I just have a love/love relationship. The spicier the better.

I’d like to take a minute to mention to coffee shops everywhere, “GET YOURSELF A DRIVE THRU.” I would waste so much more money on fru-fru coffee-like drinks if there were more with a drive thru. I am often on my way home from dropping off my older girls at school. Which means I probably have a jammy-clad baby in her carseat. Do you know how much work it was to GET her in the carseat? I’m not taking her out again for the sake of a coffee or chai. Also, while I may be dressed, I haven’t necessarily showered yet. It depends on how much morning nagging I’ve had to do. “Get dressed. Get dressed. What are you wearing today? Get dressed. What do you mean you can’t find jeans to wear, didn’t we just go through all your jeans? Did you brush your hair? I think you need to brush it again. Now you only have ten minutes to eat. C’mon. Time to eat. No, sit at the table.” There isn’t always time for me to shower before school. Because I’m not getting up before 7 if I don’t have to. All that to say, my coffee shop options are limited. In my ‘hood the only drive thru is at Starbucks. Which is ok because I really love their chai. But I prefer Caribou’s coffee, and a girl like me really likes to get her pumpkin on in all its forms. No drive thru. I’d be happy to support a local coffee endeavor, but again, no drive thru.

Sure, I’d love to go in and sit down and enjoy my drink. Did I mention that baby? Because you know how when you’re at the coffee shop or Target or the grocery store and there’s a baby screaming like she’s being tortured? That’s MY baby. Even if you’re in Texas, it’s actually my baby – you can hear her all the way from Wisconsin. Last time I had a coffee date she alternating screaming with doing alligator-style flips on my lap while trying to get down to crawl around on the floor. The coffee date before that we happened to be in a side room, so I finally just put her down and let her go.

But that’s not ideal, is it? Letting your baby crawl around on a coffee shop floor? Good thing she’s the third baby. Let’s just pretend the fuzz ball she just ate is fiber.

Even just running in for the coffee isn’t the easiest. Zoey and I aren’t at our best at 8 am. She’s probably going to scream to get down, and I’m leery of wrestling my baby whilst holding an uber hot coffee or coffee-like drink. If you don’t believe a baby can be stronger than a grown up, you are welcome to try changing her diaper. Any time. Any time at all.

It’s probably for the best. I probably save a lot of money. Right? I’m sure I’m not missing anything really good (*ahem* salted caramel mocha).


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