If I knew then…


First off, I’ve been away so long that my internet browser was all, “What?! You have a BLOG?” Yes, Firefox. I do. Calm down.

Something I’ve been thinking about this morning is what I might have done differently if I knew then what I know now. Ultimately, I don’t really have regrets. Every choice I’ve made has brought me to today. I’m certainly not perfect, but I’m happy for where I am. Given that, here are some things I wish I’d known:

  • My hair really CAN grow longer! I just have to be very, very patient.
  • That thing you can’t imagine happening? It can happen. Good or bad. Don’t live defeated, but don’t be surprised. Don’t live in fear, but remember you’re not somehow immune.
  • You know what I don’t remember from the last 10-15 years? All the things I HAD to do. Dishes. Laundry. Work. You know what I remember? Things I CHOSE to do. Taking the time to play a game with my kids. A trip. Coffee or lunch dates with friends that went on for hours. Even a good book. Laundry can wait. People are worth it.
  • There’s always a reason to feel guilty as a mom. It’s not worth the effort. When I worked full-time and had to drop Ella off every day, I felt like I was missing out. Like I should be there for her. Like I should be the one to know what she’s done all day and see all her firsts. Now I’m home. I feel guilty when my attention is taken by work, and I feel guilty when I want a break from my kids. It seems like a wasted emotion.
  • People are not lying to you. Sometimes things that aren’t fun at all, and may even be painful, really are worth it. Braces and piano lessons, I’m looking at you. I wish I’d stuck out piano lessons. I would love to sit in my basement at the keyboard and play and sing. I think it would be therapeutic. When I was in 8th grade my orthodontist retired. They said I could either get a new one, or take off my braces. My bottom teeth were still really crooked. But I’d already had them on for 3 years – I didn’t want to wear them anymore. So now I’m a 34 year old with crooked teeth despite braces.
  • It’s not coffee that gives me a stomachache, it’s espresso. I can drink coffee with a yummy creamer, but not a fru-fru latte.
  • Experience changes your perspective. We all have different opinions because of it. There’s a lot we can learn from each other’s experiences.

One response »

  1. Good for you. Good for you for writing after a long break, and good for you for putting these truths down in print. I agree/identify with almost all of them. And yes, guilt is a waste of time.

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